Tortilla Español

......By special request for Ali "Spud" Mailey.

A PROPER Spanish omelette, best served cold. Or is that revenge?

Potatoes. Boil or micro zap, until nearly cooked but still firm. Chop into chunks.
Onions. Red onions are good Slice or chop coarsley
Garlic. Crush
Fry in a heavy-bottomed non-stick frying pan, in olive oil, until beginning to brown.

That's the for the basic filling. The Spanish don't have an official recipe, adding whatever they feel necessary. It's good to add a few of the following:

Peas
Leeks
Scallions
Finely sliced red peppers
Pitted black olives (excellent with peppers)
Courgettes
Ham, for the murderously inclined.

NOT tomatoes, Lesley.

Cook it all up. Add salt and black pepper.

Beat six eggs. Pour over and mix through gently. Continue cooking until it's beginning to set on the bottom and can be lifted with a spatula. At this point, many books suggest turning it onto a plate and flipping it over. That's shite. Bung it under a grill and cook until the top is browned, moving it around so that it cooks evenly. Leave to cool. Turn onto a plate. Cut into slices. Serve with a green salad, good bread and a glass of wine.

Now, this year's cool cuisine is Middle Eastern. My theory is that all Mediterranean cookery is basically Arab. It's but a short step from tortilla to the Arabic Eggah or the Iranian Kookoo. For interesting mid-eastern variants, use the following fillings:

Courgettes, mint, walnuts and feta.
Aubergines, tomatoes, onions, garlic, chilli and cumin.
Fried okra, tomatoes, garlic, onions, fresh coriander (for a Zoroastrian version).
Lots of red and green peppers, onions, garlic. Similar to the Turkish
Menemen.

Bismillah!