Manky Veg

New Millennium, New Pie. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même shite in a different bottle. Naturally the Pie celebrated the big event inna characteristically perverse stylee, with the ceremonial playing of Marc Bolan's "Twentieth Century Boy." Followed, of course, by Prince. Yup, I just couldn't resist playing "Raspberry Beret".

But, onto more serious things. This recipe could change your life. It is a well known fact that the peak expression of human civilisation is Reggae music. This is closely followed by the noble art of pickling. So here's a recipe for pickled cabbage which is SERIOUSLY wonderful. It will, however, require something of a leap of faith on your part. Trust me, though. When did the Pie ever let you down?

Take an ordinary white cabbage. Slice very thinly. (A knife will do, but a food processor is a good idea. Unfortunately, I have lost my slicing attachment, so I used that cruel device called a Mandolin, as a result of which my last batch was not strictly vegetarian. Don't use a banjo. It's tuned differently).
Lay in a casserole dish (the cabbage, that is, Signore). You want a layer about an inch deep.
Sprinkle liberally with salt
Also - chilli flakes, the kind you get in American pizza joints. Don't under do it!
And a sliced clove of garlic.
Repeat until the cabbage is used up.
Cover the lot with a plate, sized suitably to fit inside the casserole.
Put a heavy weight on top. Say, a vase filed with water. Or the bowl from an ice-cream maker.
Wait.
The cabbage will sweat profusely
Keep waiting.
(Here is where the leap of faith is required….)
After about 3 days, the cabbage will start to go manky
(For non Scots readers - "manky" = no very nice, by the way)
Taste it.
If it's not soor enough, leave a couple more days.
It's best when it's really mingin'
Remove the cabbage from the water.
Store in a sealed container in the fridge until needed.

Variants: Also add thinly sliced ginger and spring onions.

Honestly - you will thank me for this one day.

**** New Millenium, New Blether ****

Curtis Mayfield!